Fix You
by Nicholas de Vilance
Summary: /DanielVala ValaCentric/ Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you. /Follows "I Should Tell You" in the "Shattering" verse/


Nick: I never stopped writing this. I finally finished it though. This could be the end, even though I didn't really end it like the end. Also, it's pretty freaking random. I don't really like this one, so...here you go.

Disclaimer: I'm not that crazy. I'm only this crazy. That? That's all them.

Rating: M...because I said so.

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><p>People started coming to talk, saying things that Vala didn't really hear. She made a point of not listening. It was just too difficult, having all those idiots come in here and pretend that they care when it was obvious they didn't have the time to do it when he was awake. Of course, that was probably a bit too harsh, coming from the fact that she was having a hard time keeping it together all things considered. To be honest, she hadn't really been forward with her feelings for him either so who was she to talk. Surely he could tell by all the times she'd helped him and the fact that she was virtually changing her way of life just to be around him and to have him approve of her. Surely he <em>had<em> to know that. And yet, the question always nagged in her mind whenever someone came in to talk: "What if he didn't know? What then?" Because this was quickly beginning to feel like that inevitable _last chance_. Maybe that was why everyone was coming in.

Every chance she got to be alone with him, she talked to Daniel like he was animate. Even though, often when she was "alone" Mitchell was moonlighting the room, she still spoke. He seemed to be the only one that she could talk in front of, ever since he'd heard her the first time when she didn't know he was there. It was easy for her to feel comfortable when he was in the room; he accentuated the warm feeling she got from Daniel, the one she'd been aching to feel the full strength from Daniel's smile.

"I'm thinking of having mac and cheese for lunch," she commented, off-hand, an empty half-smile on her face. Of course, he didn't answer, and neither did Mitchell because he knew that she wasn't talking to him and respected that.

Sighing, she ran her fingers over Daniel's brow and put on a thoughtful look. "I noticed some of the ladies get you flowers, and I don't quite understand that. Especially since when you wake up you're probably going to sneeze the roof down…or however the saying goes. I haven't decided what I want to get you yet. Because I'm going to get you something. I'll just have to ask someone who happens to come in with a good one for advice, yes? I thought so too."

When she sat back in her seat and pressed her chin into her hand, she glanced up and her eyes landed on Cam's face for a moment. She considered asking his opinion, but didn't. Awkwardly, she put her focus back on Daniel and tried to make the warmth from his hand seep into her.

"I _really_ appreciate this, Teal'c," Vala stated, probably the most earnest she'd ever been in her entire life. "But I really have to get back soon."

"Just relax," Sam said, over her shoulder, sun glasses over her tear-reddened eyes. "Cam's looking after Daniel while you're gone and I'm sure he's doing fine."

"And thank you for driving us, Samantha," was all the dark haired woman could say to that. It was both endearing and terrifying that she was so transparent to these people, that they were so adept at reading her. But then, she supposed that was a quirk of being a part of a team. The people that were closest to her in what were probably the most dangerous moments of her life—the team members, friends, _family_—got an insight into you that was deep and true.

"So, what sort of thing are you looking for?" Sam did that cutesy wringing of her hands, the thing that she usually did when she was uncertain about one of her theories or experiments.

At the chance to focus on something other than Daniel, back in the infirmary, Vala bounced a little. "I wanted to get him something cute, something that will last a while. I want him to be able to hold and it can't make him sneeze."

"Have you considered a 'Teddy Bear'?" Hearing those particular words come out of Teal'c's mouth was about as odd as it was unhelpful.

"No, no, no, that's so boring! From what I understand, everyone on your planet has a Teddy Bear. It's just so ordinary. I don't want ordinary for my Daniel. That's why I have an idea, but I need your help to execute it. You need to tell me where to find a very special gift!"

Both Sam and Teal'c exchanged glances.

When it came to her, it wasn't really a dream. She was sitting at Daniel's bedside—as she had been for the last two days—with her head on the mattress against his hip and she might have been sleeping. Images flashed through her mind, too quick for her to catch and remember along with a cacophony of voices all saying different things at the same time. If it could be called a dream, it was extremely lucid. She was well aware that when she started to get a head ache, she grasped Daniel's hand tighter and tangled her fingers in the bed sheet. Everything was getting louder and brighter until it all came to a head and she shot up in her chair. Jack O'Neil's voice was ringing in her head, clear as day.

_Vala Mal Doran, you idiot!_

"Oh my god, Daniel," she exclaimed with more enthusiasm than she'd felt in a week. "I have to go, but I promise I will be right back and make you better!" Quickly, a bit flustered, she kissed him on the forehead and rushed out of the room, unintentionally grabbing the little turtle in her fist.

"Vala, I am not questioning the soundness of your theory," General Landry tried to say this as simply as he could without sounding like a complete bimbo. "My question is, why do you have to talk to me while gesturing with a stuffed turtle?"

"What?" Casting a brief glance to the doll in her hand, she grimaced and hid the thing behind her back. "I don't, I can propose my idea perfectly without waving a turtle around."

The General shook his head. "I think what I am trying to understand is why you have a stuffed turtle in the first place."

There was a wide, beaming smile on her face as she took the turtle from behind her and looked it straight in the eyes. "Adorable, isn't it? It's for Daniel, for when he gets better. Which is why I'm here, General, I know how to fix him. I just need to use a particular piece of Goa'uld technology that happens to be locked in a cabinet that I don't have the key to, no surprise there."

"There are security measures in place for very good reasons," he said forcefully.

"But, General, I am the only one on this base with the experience and skill to use the healing device and it may very well be the _only_ thing in our possession that could save Daniel's life."

Giving her a hard look, Landry stood behind his desk and clasped his hands behind his back. "I need you to understand something here. Our top scientists have been studying the Goa'uld healing device, and no one really knows how it works or its potential side effects, so—"

"Please, just listen before you decide to tell me that I can't do it because I have to tell you that Daniel is laying in that bed slipping away from me every moment. And I for one don't want to just stand around gawking at him like this is completely hopeless when there is something that I could do to change it. He needs my help; I'm sure you wouldn't really understand what that means for me because you weren't there all of the countless times he's helped me. The fact that for once he actually needs me, needs _me_, and I can't let him down, General, I just—I _won't_."

"Vala!" At his sharp tone, she fell silent, almost at the position of attention, as she had observed from Cameron over the years. "I've already decided to give you a go. I want to see Dr. Jackson back on his feet as much as you do. All I wanted to say was: be careful. From what I understand that device takes a lot of energy to operate. Dr. Jackson is important to this facility, but so are you, so please don't hurt yourself to make him better."

All of that caught her off guard. For a moment, she just stood there, hugging the little turtle against her chest. Then, she threw he arms around the general's neck and laughed genuinely for the first time since before she'd been abducted. "Thank you so much!" Planting a grateful kiss on the man's cheek, she ran out of the office towards Sam's office to tell her the news.

The thing about Goa'uld technology is that, besides that it was controlled by thought and the naquada in her blood, is that it is less like magical healing and more like simplified, unobtrusive surgery. Simple things were easy and fast to heal because usually all she had to do was find the bad tissue, or infection or other bad stuff and zap it with the device. The idea of fixing a kidney was a lot less terrifyingly intimidating than stitching together all of the parts of a brain. Looking down at Daniel, she started to think that this was a bad idea. If she messed up, he could end up with an unintended tumor or more damage than he'd had before. Was she really willing to take that chance?

The machine that breathed for him hissed and she took a moment to think about her upcoming ultimatum. There were so many variables, questions about what she was about to do that couldn't be explained. Would this work the way she wanted? Did she have the energy to finish once she started? She remembered the Orii plague that had terrorized her subjects when she had admitted that she was no longer Quetesh. She remembered how just that simple healing process had started to wear on her after a while, sapping her energy. There was no way to be sure how long it would take to fix all of the problems with Daniel right now, but she was certain that it would be a huge power requirement. And she didn't have Goa'uld stamina anymore.

She turned to Dr. Lam behind her. "It's not only his brain, is it?"

"No," Lam said, "but right now it's our main concern."

"You have to tell me where else too."

With a skeptical look on her face, Caroline Lam went to the end of the bed and picked up the medical file she'd left on the end table. It annoyed Vala a little, that the woman was reluctant to tell her anything, but the more sensible part of her understood. To be honest, she wasn't all that sure she particularly wanted know. She hadn't seen what those people—whoever or whatever they were—had done to him, only heard the screams…and that still haunted her.

"Alright then," Lam opened the file and skimmed over her own hand writing, "Daniel had a large number of bruises, all very small and have been healing slowly. His toes on his left foot were broken as was his right knee, probably by blunt force of a heavy object. There are multiple lacerations on his legs; like the bruises, they're small, probably just hurt a lot. All of his fingernails were pulled off. His heart is…another thing I'm worried about."

"Why?" Vala's voice had gone dry and raspy.

Dr. Lam took a deep breath to brace herself. "Along with the aneurysms, Daniel also appears to have suffered multiple heart attacks. And those have weakened the cardiac muscle, damaged the tissue. To be honest, I don't know how it's still beating."

Vala winced, sparing a glance at Daniel's chest. She suddenly felt the urge to touch him, press a hand against his chest to make sure that his heart was in fact still beating. She would have, but didn't think that it would be very appropriate, given the situation. Nodding at Lam, she slid the healing device over her knuckles and tried to decide where to begin.

"I'm going to start with his head," she said to the doctor, "Then his heart. The other things should heal themselves, right?"

"Yes, once his body is healthy enough, it will start focusing on healing the little things. Vala—" Hesitantly, Dr. Lam put the medical chart down. She looked over at Daniel for what seemed to be the first time since they had entered the room. "Just…be careful, alright? Try to get the big things out of the way, but if you can't…if you can't…"

With a sharp nod, Vala waved a hand to cut her off. "I can," she stated, really hoping that she was right. As she raised the healing device above Daniel's head, she prayed to every god she could think of that this would work.

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try_

_To fix you_


End file.
